Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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