I think I won the penis lottery.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
