Duck Duck Cougar?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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