Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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