so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
