Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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