remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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