If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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