The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
