At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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