I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
