some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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