We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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