i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Randomize
