so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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