A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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