Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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