someone get that fucking seahorse.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
