You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
