his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
