i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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