Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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