Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
