The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize