Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
