Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
