My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
