Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
