Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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