At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I love you.
Bad choice
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
