Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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