well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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