KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
