are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This is my gift to your gina
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
