I never want to see another naked old woman again.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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