nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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