There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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