Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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