FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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