so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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