Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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