Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
