I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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