He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so let's talk penis.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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