I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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