I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
