his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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