lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
