why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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