I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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