She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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