I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
