Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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