could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
