she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
