Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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