is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
