Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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