I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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