its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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