i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
