She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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