I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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