Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
