I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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